I am experiencing what it is like to live on a very tight budget. I have been learning more and more about my family’s economic status. My mom is open to talking to me about everything, so obviously money comes up to. She has told me a few things, and here is a short list of the things that have given me some clues as to my family’s economic status:
§ We do not have hot water because it is too expensive.
§ We have a coffee pot and an iron, but they are paying off “loans” on them.
§ My mom makes $2.50 an hour at her job.
§ My dad forgot to buy lettuce at the farmer’s market, so we were not going to have salad because it was to expensive to buy it in the supermarket. When I looked last time in the supermarket, it was about 50 cents for a head of lettuce.
§ Food is a treasured commodity. I have never gone hungry, but I am definitely conscious of how much I take at meals. Sometimes at supper my mom will take food off her plate and say “I need to save some for tomorrow.” When we have meat, usually I get about 5 bite sized pieces to make sure there is enough for everyone and some for lunches the next day.
§ We save all the leftovers, down to the very smallest thing. For example, the other night we fried potatoes, and we saved the oil in a container. Today we added that oil to the gallo pinto that we had. I know, your thinking “yumm…” right? My thoughts exactly :)
§ For supper one night we had rice, 1 tomato, and 1 can of tuna for 4 people.
§ We do not usually have much food on hand. In fact, there is absoloutely nothing in the freezer, and our fridge has a generous amount of space. There are 2 small cupboards where we keep nonperishable foods. And that’s it. I bet all the food we have in the house right now (including nonperishable items and everything) would easily fit in the refrigerator.
And for a final example, my mom does not have money to take the bus to work tomorrow. She does not know where this money will come from, but she is 100% sure that God will provide something. Money is tight, but my mom’s faith in God is incredible. I don’t know how she does it. She has no doubt in her mind that somehow God will provide for what they need. I want that kind of faith. I want that kind of unwavering hope and confidence that God is going to provide for my needs. I want to have no worries, knowning that somehow God will provide for what I need. I don’t want to be careless (and I really don’t think my family is careless or ignorant about their money), but I do not want to be preoccupied about anything. I want to rest in him as I know that he will provide for me.
One thing I should mention is that I may be somewhat deceived on the money situation because I only hear from my mom’s perspective. For example, my dad has money too, but it is definitiely HIS money. Sometimes we do have a lot to eat, and sometimes we have something special to eat (like a good type of bread). Once in awhile my dad will buy something more expensive (like lettuce at the supermarket) and we will have that. It just really depends on what he wants. My mom does not get any of this money, and he is fully in control of what they buy. It is very much a man’s world, and he gets to chose where the money goes. Therefore, I’m not sure how wise his money spending decisions are, and I have no idea what he chooses to spend his money on.
The difficult thing is to know how to react when I’m living in a situation like this. I’m thankful that our program pays the families that we stay with (at least I’m not a financial burden), but I still feel a pressure to do more. It is hard to know how to handle the difference in our financial situations. I honestly do not know what the proper reaction is when I am faced with poverty, and it is something I am still definitely working through. Poverty and how to handle my money is one of those things where I’m just trying to soak in my experience and the things I’m hearing and seeing. When I get back home, I pray that later God would give me the grace to digest this information and form my own opinion and belief about it because I just simply can’t do that right now. I need more time, space, and grace.
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