First of all, thank you all so much for your prayers and encouraging emails. I humbly appreciate them, and I honestly think I can feel the power of your prayers. I am greatly encouraged. Oh how I wish I could respond to each email right now…but I simply cannot do that. Please know that I am deeply thankful, and I will respond to the emails as time allows me to!
Since my last update, God has specifically showed me a few times of how he is pursuing me. This has been awesome. I am reminded that as much as I want to see him and know him more intimately, he desires that even more. He wants to be with me, and I am encouraged as he reminds me of things this week. In specific, I had an awesome conversation with my Tico father, and this was a huge blessing. I also had a devotional sent to me by a friend, and this was “ironic” timing. It was just what I needed to hear. In addition, it has been so wonderful to read emails from people praying for me and giving me thoughtful words of wisdom and encouragement.
God has been faithful to me. In some ways, it almost feels like I’m starting over with him, but he is being so patient with me. My faith right now feels fragile and young and vulnerable. This is scary and sad to me, but it is the reality. I am truly trying to seek God intentionally and really trust what he is doing in my life. Faith itself is a gift from God, and I am earnestly praying for God to continue to fill me a deep and true faith. I pray that at the end of this testing, I will be refined and better fit for service to the King. I pray that God shows me that is not just an “option” in the scheme of religions, but that he is the real deal. I am praying that God fills me with himself and continues to reveal himself to me. I also pray that God gives me the ears to hear him, as I know that there is a lot of noise in my life right now. I pray that God continues to pursue me, and I pray that I may recognize his passion for me. I pray that I would feel his love in my life and receive the gifts he has for me. I pray that his Spirit would be alive in me. I humbly invite you to join me in these prayers.
As far as a brief update on the activities of my life right now… for those of you who are really getting bored of all the deep stuff :) This weekend was really a relaxed weekend. As you can guess, this was just what I needed, and I know this was a gift from God to help me in this time. Right now, classes are just crazy busy. Believe it or not, you get homework on a study abroad program. I had heard that you do not get much homework on study abroad programs…I definitely disagree with that! Many of us are feeling a little overwhelmed ith how much we have to do: homework, spend time with our families, walk to for 3 hours a day, spend so much time in class, do fun things in Costa Rica, reconnect with family and friends back home, devotions and time with God…the days are just so full. It is really difficult to balance everything, and I thank you so much for your patience in understanding that I cannot email as often as I would like to. Please know this is so hard for me as I deeply want you to know how important you all are to me.
Today the speaker we had for class was the far left side of the political spectrum here in Costa Rica. He is a very famous politician here and has been in Congress 2 different times. So you might wonder what are his views? In a nutshell: the opposite of the United States. It was realy interesting to have this lecture because last week we visited the US Embassy here in Costa Rica. During this time, we went through all this security and listened to some people from the United States talk about our relationships with Latin America. Now today we heard the opposite perspective. It’s been really good and interesting to here these competing sides, but it is also super hard: how in the world do you know what is true? I do not fully know where I stand on these issues (immigration, Latin American relationships, Free Trade, and the Drug War are the major components). However, I now realize that it is important to figure it out. I need to sit with the information and sift through some things, but I know realize that it is important to have a position on situations like this. My days of thinking “oh, politics isn’t really my thing” have ended. It’s time to figure it out. I need to MAKE it my thing.
Yesterday when I got home from class, the family and I took off for the seamstress to get my sister fitted for their school uniforms. While the mom and sister went inside, my dad and I went to the Ice Cream store to buy ice cream on a stick (its not like an ice cream bar…they are way better!) When we got back to the seamstress, we were waiting in the car and got into a really good conversation (the one I referenced earlier). We talked about what it means to feel God, and he shared with me what he felt like it meant to feel God. This was really interesting talking to him because he is Pentecostal. It was just the conversation that I needed.
When we got home, I worked on homework for awhile, my dad showed me some pictures on the computer, and then we ate supper. After supper, I ended up talking to my dad again for a long time about solidarity and social justice. It was a super good conversation, and I just have so much respect for my dad. I really feel like he is knowledgeable, and I can tell that he really tries to live out what he believes. He is definitely the one I connect with the most in my family…maybe it’s because we are both deep. Granted, sometimes it is hard for me to express my thoughts in Spanish...but I think I can usually get my point across :) One thing I do know: my Tico dad is one of my favorite people here in Costa Rica.
Right now my family is watching the Spanish version of “Ugly Betty” – a super big deal here :) I’m taking advantage of this time by spending some time with God and updating you all on my life. I hope you are all doing well. Thank you again for all your prayers and words of encouragement.
One of my favorite verses since coming to Costa Rica is Psalm 42:8: “But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life.” Our God is great. Be encouraged and be blessed.
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