A day of numbers.

Hola!

Today was a little bit different for me. Instead of helping with English and tutoring, I was reqruited to go help with a project. The programs that I am working with are under Christ for the City. This organization has sites in Costa Rica and many other countries. Another organization is called Toms Shoes. Many of you have probably heard of this, but this is a popular shoe company in the United States. For every pair of shoes sold in the United States, the company donates 1 pair to a developing country or a 3^rd world country. Now to make the connection, Toms Shoes is going to donate some of these shoes to Christ for the City in Costa Rica. When Toms Shoes donates to an organization in a developing country, the minimum pairs of shoes that they donate is 17,000. Yeah…17,000!

This is unbelievable and really awesome that the kids I work with in La Carpio are all going to be receiving new shoes that fit them. Now here’s where my job came in today. I helped one of the leaders of Christ for the City tally shoes sizes all day. This means that I would read a list of shoe sizes (yeah…thousands…) and the number of kids from the different locations that had that shoes size while the leader wrote them down. It was all numbers all day! I should be an expert in saying and recording Spanish numbers I think. My tongue was honestly getting tongue twisted from having to do so many trills with the numbers!

Although it was kind of long to just repeat numbers, write them down, and add them on a calculator, I actually really liked the work that I did today because it was something that I could see progress in. I could see that when we were done with a list, we moved on to the next one. I also liked it because I was needed and having help cut the process time in half. I really like to be useful and see the progress taking shape.

This afternoon I had some alone time with God which was much needed. However, I am struggling to feel satisfied with God right now, and I would appreciate your prayers in this area. I pray that God fills me and satisfies me. Honestly, I struggle believeing that God really can meet all my needs and desires. I pray that he shows me that he can.

A boring post, thanks to exhaustion.

Hola!

My days have been going well and pretty fast. The mornings I help teach English to kids who are between 2^nd grade and 6^th grade. For 2 of those mornings, I also tutor a 24 year old one on one in English. In the afternoons, it’s lunch and helping with tutoring usually. On Wednesdays, we have Kids Club, which is kind of like Bible school for 2-3 hours. Wednesdays are long days then, and I’m exhausted. I left my house at 8am and got back at 6:30pm…kids wear you out when you aren’t used to them!

My nights are filled with spending time with my family. I spend a lot of time listening to my mom and sister talk to me :) I also am learning to cook from my mom. Cooking here is totally different! I love cooking in the states, and I do it all the time. Here, I have no idea how to make anything. So it’s fun to learn. I also helped my tutor my sister in English, and last night my mom painted my fingernails (she is taking a beauty class right now). The nights really fly by, and before I know it, it’s time for bed.

Yep, this blog is boring. I have a lot more that is on my mind, and a lot more that I’m going to journal about. Nonetheless, I feel like this is all I’m supposed to share today. Overall, I’m just feeling exhausted, and I’m needing God to give me a boost. A boost of energy. A boost in my self-esteem. A boost in my confidence. And an extra dosage of grace.

Change of plans!

Well, so much for my 6 hours of alone time! After my mom and dad left, I was talking to my brother, and he was getting to out with some friends and invited me to join him. Ten minutes later, we were out the door and on our way to downtown San Jose. Needless to say, my homework progress is lacking :)

It was really great to go downtown with him. He is almost 21 (don’t get any ideas people :) and it was good to get to talk to him a little bit one on one. He is really quiet in the house (you have to be pretty aggressive to get a word in here!). We talked and walked around downtown while he showed me different markets and things like that. We met up with 2 of his friends and spent some time with them too. Overall, it was a really fun day, and I really enjoyed getting to know people my age herer in Costa Rica!

At 8:30pm, I rolled back in at home where I chatted it up with my mom for awhile. Well, it was quite awhile…I got to bed finally at 11:15 :)

This morning I attended Mass with my mom and sister. They are Catholic and it was really a good experience to go to the cathedral. I have learned a lot about Catholicism since being here in Costa Rica, so it wasn’t a total shock. Nonetheless, it was still good to experience it for myself. When we got home, we made pancakes (different than at home, of course), and then I was finally able to talk to my family which really made my day :) Unfortunately, I was in my bedroom for almost 2 hours with no air circulation. Oh, did I mention that it’s ridiculously hot here?! It is probably close to 95 degrees in my bedroom. It is amazing how different the weather is here even though it is only 1 hour away from my other house. It seriously is so hot here!

Who knows what will be going on the rest of the day. I know my sister wants me to help her study for her English test, so I’m sure I’ll be doing that at some point. Maybe I’ll get a chance to be alone. Nah, probably not :)

Friday: a tough day.

Hello all!

Yesterday morning went way to fast. Incredbily too fast. Instead of getting my fill of alone tiem, I became more aware of how little alone time I get! It just made me want more, unfortunately.

About 11:30 I went to meet my mom at the high school. My sister attends this school, and my mom works here prat time. We were here for 1 ½ hours or so while my mom showed me around and finished up some of her work. Afterward, we went to this local ice cream store and chatted for a while. Well, “chatting” means that she talks and I listen. :) But God is teaching me through this experience and giving me grace in this area.

We didn’t get home til almost 3:00pm, and then we left again at 4:00pm to take a 1 ½ hour bus ride. We went with a group of people in their church to a ministry that that started in another part the city. I was not prepared for this night. That might be an understatement. We left at 4:00 and got back at 11:00pm. While we were there, there were just tons of kids going nuts. It was kind of like youth group, except for all ages. There were kids from babies up to high school. There were just a million of them! I “helped” with ages 4-6. Okay, let’s be honest, I didn’t do much. I’m hardly an intimidating figure for these kids. I mostly tried to keep my sanity.  

Overall, the day was very very  tiring. Kids in this type of setting are definitely not my strong suite. I’m a deep conversation person, not a gatekeeper of screaming kids. It was a challenge, but I know that it meant a ton to my mom and sister that I went. In fact, they told me when we got home that they were so thankful that I went with them. They said that I’m the first missionary who came with them to this ministry. I know they are proud of this ministry and wanted me to see what it was like. Honestly, I think it’s a good thing for the kids…it’s just not something I’m gifted in. My Tica mom and sister, on the other hand, thrive in this type of setting and totally love it.

This morning I got up at 8 (this family isn’t near as much into sleeping in!) and had breakfast with my mom and brother. After showering and getting ready, I went with my mom to run errands. We went to the farmers market in this town, and then we went to buy fabric for this camp that they are having. They have a camp of 350 people for their church, and my mom and sister are 2 of the people in charge. So we had to go buy fabric for different little scarves and things that they were going to use. This took most of the morning, and I’ve been chatting with my mom since I got back.

This afternoon my mom and sister went to a meeting that they have. This meeting is for the coordinators of the camp (which is next weekend). They left at 1:00pm, and they won’t be back until 7:00pm tonight. Praise the Lord that I can have some time to skype with my family (for the first time in a really long time) and be alone. My brother is here now, but he’s leaving soon, and my dad will be home later. Even so, they are far less chatty than my mom and sister :)

I pray that God sustains me, as yesterday was the most difficult day of the week for me. It’s hard to explain in a blog, but it was emotionally draining for various reasons. By the end of the day, I was totally wiped out. I pray that God gives me time alone and that he would be sufficient for me. Father, teach me what it means to be totally satisfied in you.

The week is flying!

Hola!

I don’t even hardly know where to begin. I could give you a run down on every day, but really its been so full that I don’t’ think I have time to do that. So I’m just going to stick with the generalities of how things are going. I really, honestly like it here. I love my family so dearly, and they are just wonderful. Today I have the morning off and I am in the house alone for a few hours. This is such a wonderful break from the busyness of this week. I’m so thankful for this time alone. I managed to wash my clothes…at least I think so. It’s really quite the process! I only had 1 contact in and was half sleeping this morning when my mom explained how to use the washing machine thingy. They are definitely very different than what I’m used to. It probably took me over an hour to do 1 load of laundry :) part of it is with a machine, and then part of it I had to do by hand. Then I had to transfer it to this other part of the machine, and then hang it on the line to dry. It just is a much bigger process here!

Wednesday night I went to church with my family where they hae a youth group type thing. i spent half of the night with my sister in the adults and adolescents group, and then I went with my mom to be with the middle school aged children. They were nuts! I think we have church again tonight, but im’ not sure.

Yesterday was really good. I helped teach English classes in the morning, and I tutored a 24 year old woman one on one for about an hour. In the afternoon, I gave the test for the math class, and then had a little time to talk to the other missionaries. The other missionaries here are really great, and I’ve enjoyed talking to them.

I feel very blessed with the wonderful conversations that I have had with different people this past week. I have been able to connect really well with my family and the other missionaries. There were also 2 conversations last night that were fun to have. One was with a woman who came by our house selling things from Nicaragua. She is from Nicaragua, and she makes a living by selling Nicaraguan things door to door here in Costa Rica. I talked to her for probably 45 minutes about her life, Nicaragua, and her experience of being an immigrant. It was wonderful. The other conversation was at a couple’s house from church. My family and I went to their house to talk about this camp that the church is putting on next week. While we were there, the couple’s son came home. He actually went to a British school in Costa Rica, so English was really his first language. I had a good conversation with him as well. I also felt blessed when I went to church on Wednesday night and got to talk to several people there.

I also feel incredibly blessed with the ability God has given me to speak in Spanish. I feel like my Spanish just all of a sudden improved since I got here on my internship, which is weird because I still speak English a lot with the other missionaries. In fact, yesterday I had 3 people sincerely compliment my Spanish. In the morning when I was getting ready to go, my mom told me that she loves when I talk in Spanish because I speak so fluidly. The 2 people I had conversations with last night also said that they never would have guessed that Spanish was difficult for me to learn. I feel so blessed by this ability because it allows me to communicate so much more naturally with these people. I am not near as worried about messing up a sentence because I know that they understand me anyway. I am also able to ask pretty much any question I want to ask them, and I don’t usually feel “stuck” with what I want to say.  God is so good for giving me this and allowing me to connect with people in such wonderful ways. I love that the good conversations I have are with native Spanish speakers too.

God has been faithful to me since I’ve been here, and I continue to ask that he sustain me every day. I know that I am fully dependent on his grace, and I pray that he shows me clearly what this really means in my daily life—to be dependent on God. I want to be fully finding my satisfaction in him. I am thankful for the blessings he has given me, and I pray that he sustains me and gives me patience and peace for this weekend.

I have no idea what the weekend holds, but I know it will be 100% different from my other family. Here, my mom pretty much doesn’t sleep. She gets up at 4:30am most days and goes to between 10 and 11. They are always bustling around, and if I’m ever in the same room as my mom or sister, there is a conversation going on. I don’t think they like silence :) thankfully, I love them dearly so I don’t mind the constant talking!

Today I am going out for lunch with my mom. I am going to take a bus and meet her at her work. I do not gather that they go out to eat much, so this is really a special treat for us. They are very tight financially, as I think I mentioned, yet they are so generous and loving to me. In fact, last night my mom bought me something from the Nicaraguan woman who was here. I was so humbled that she bought me this because I know they cannot afford it. Even though things are tight, she wanted to buy something for me. She said, “Quiero comprar una cosita para mi hija,  la hija de mi corazon.”  This translates to: “I want to buy a little something for my daughter, the daughter of my heart.” :)

Okay, time to go, but I want to apologize for the scatteredness of this blog! I guess this just reflects the lack of order in my life right now :)

La Carpio

Hola!

I have a break between activites now, so I´m taking advantage of this time to update you all a little more about how things are going here. Overall, I really feel like it I going well. My family is awesome, and I am so thankful for them. They are just super loving and hospitable, and I just am amazed at how much they love me. This family has already asked me more questions about me and my day than my other family did in 8 weeks. It´s unbelievable how different every family is! I am truly thankful for this family though. Praise God for this!

I am learning a lot at my internship, and I´m hearing a lot of different stories and hard realities. It is difficult to see these conditions here, just because the girls were born into a bad neighborhood. Many of them are in this condition by no fault of their own. I want to explain this neighborhood a little more.

My neighborhood is called ¨La Carpio.¨I am not living here though as it is not safe to do so. I am ¨safe¨during the day because I walk on the main road (the only road) and it is usually with someone else. No one really knows for sure how many people live here, but the estimates I´ve heard are between 5,000 and 15,000. This is one of the poorest areas in San Jose (probably in all of Costa Rica actually), and it is 90% Nicaraguan immigrants.

In the morning, I am helping with English classes. The school system here (especially for the kids in La Carpio) is extremely lacking, and this is really a challenge for me to be helping with these classes that are so different from classes that I´m used to. It´s hard to know what to think about them, but I´m trying to be open minded and have an attitude of learning. Some of the kids really want to learn, and I cherish those kids. Others could care less, and they don´t really want to be in class. This may sound like a typical classroom, but I assure you that the dynamics are totally different. If the kids don´t go to school here, they have no chance of getting out of this poverty. If they don´t go to school, their parents many times won´t make them go. Education is not required, so there is no law mandating that they go. If they do go to school, the schools in La Carpio are over croweded, and they have 3 waves of students a day to fit more in. This means that the students might get 3 hours of classes a day. Then if the teacher has an appointment or is sick, they just don´t have classes. Some of the kids are able to take a bus to a better school where they might get 5 hours of classes a day, but many families can´t afford the uniforms and books for these classes. It´s really a frustrating school system, and I could go on for a lot longer about it…but I´m probably losing some of you :)

In the afternoons, it is always something different. Today we have Kid´s Club (only on Wednesdays). I´m not sure what that consists of, but I´ll find out!  I´m getting to know some of the other missionaries here, and its really good to talk to them. Even though I´m talking in English with them more than I would like (it´s hard to force yourself to both talk in your 2^nd language), I realize that Spanish is not the only thing that I´m supposed to learn here. I am learning a lot from these missionaries just about La Carpio and also about tough issues in general (short term missions, charity, etc). These are good conversations, and I´m thankful for this chance to get to see their perspectives too.

Tonight, I am going to church with my mom and sister where we have some sort of mission for kids. I don´t know what it is, but I´m guessing some sort of ¨controlled¨chaos with a Bible story and games. Not exactly my forte (chaos, a million kids, noise, etc!), but I pray God gives me his grace. I am willing to try these things and see what God wants me to learn.

When I get up in the morning, I bring myself before God and recognize my inability to get through the day without his help. I cannot possibly do what he wants me to do, and I cannot show his love to others on my own. I am totally dependent on his grace to get through these days, as I am faced with so many challenges daily. God is the only one who is able to sustain me, and I pray that he continues to do this each day. I pray that he shows me his love and that he allows me to reflect that love to others. I pray that he is faithful to me, even when I doubt that he is going to come through for me. I pray that God would take away the lingering doubts that are in my heart, and I pray that he would transform my heart into a heart of service and love for others. If you would, please join me as I bring these requests before God.

Settling In.

Hola!

I am going to keep this short because I’m just extremely tired, but I wanted to let everyone know that I made it to my internship site and am settling in with my new family. My new family is honestly so great. I love them. It is such an incredible blessing from God to have such a hospitable and kind family. They are so sweet and accommodating to me, and I’m humbled to be with them.

Today my internship went well. I think I am going to be spending the majority of my time helping in the English classes. I also am just going to be seeing so much more than just classes though. This community has its own culture, and I am excited to learn more about this area.  

One this is for sure: I will never be lonely during this 3 weeks! In fact, I can hardly pull myself away from my family. This is the 1^st minute of alone time I’ve had since I walked in the door at 5:45pm tonight :) My family is super chatty, so its really wonderful but also tiring after a super long day! I can tell already that this is going to be a prayer request that I have: that I can learn to take myself to God moment by moment because I’m not going to have the alone time that I like to have. Please pray that I find peace and rest in God throughout this really busy 3 weeks. Pray that God would bless the conversations that I have and the relationships that I build. Now I’m off to bed so I can wake up and do it all over again tomorrow!

God's blessings.

Hola!

I just wanted to give an update on the weekend so far. This morning everyone slept in as usual, and I welcomed this tradition. I was able to sleep in and also spend time with God this morning. It was really good to have this time after just having my mind be all over the place lately.

When I heard my parents up, I went out in the kitchen to have breakfast at the same time as them. During breakfast, we talked a lot. We actually talked for over an hour, and I just thank God so much for this time that we had together. We had a good conversation about previous students that they have had, and they were saying all these different characteristics and things like that. During this conversation, they really said some nice things about me, and I was so thankful to have those words of affirmation. It was so nice to hear them compliment me. I don’t think they had done that yet, but this was just so greatly appreciated.

In addition to receiving words of affirmation from them, I really learned something valuable about their mentality with hosting students. They were talking about how they just try to be the same but let the students be themselves. Throughout the conversation I realized that this whole semester they have been trying to give me freedom. Maybe I’ve interpreted this gift of freedom differently than they intended. I’ve thought that they didn’t’ really have an interest in me, but that might not be what they meant to say. Either way, I don’t have my relationship with them figured out, but I don’t think I’m supposed to “figure it out.” I just need to experience it and be content with that.

So this morning was just good because I felt like I was able to understand another piece of the puzzle that is our relationship, and I feel blessed because of that. I also feel blessed to hear the words of affirmation that they gave me.

God continued to bless me throughout the day as later in the afternoon we left for a car ride to go to eat somewhere. They said they wanted to take me somewhere special to say goodbye to me since I am going to be leaving for 3 weeks. I felt like this really showed me that they do care about me since they wanted to take me out somewhere special.

We drove for about 1 ½ hours and drove up one of the mountains here to a restaurant that was almost in the clouds. It was a beautiful drive, a fantastic view, and amazing food. I would say that it was some of the best food I’ve had since I’ve been here in Costa Rica! After eating, we drove back home where we are just chilling now. I’m so thankful that I had the opportunity to go out with them and have lunch. We had a good time just talking and riding and making jokes.

Now, I’m not going to exaggerate and say that our conversation this morning was just this miraculous event and suddenly I feel like a member of the family. However, I would say that this was probably the most comfortable I have felt around them this whole semester. I do not feel amazingly close and connected to them, but I do feel comfortable around them. This is a blessing. A huge blessing.

I just thank God so much for this good day today. God is so good. He knew that I really needed this good day to say goodbye to my family before I head off for 3 weeks. He knew what I needed, and he knew that I was on my last string. Praise God for providing for me!

Tomorrow I am leaving at 3:00pm to go meet my other family. This is going to be another huge transition, so please pray that things go well and that I have a good connection with my new family.

The Mexican Fisherman

This is a story that one of my professors shared with us today and I wanted to pass it along.

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs...I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!

"You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.

"Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? That's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?"

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta, and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends!"

Emotionally spent.

Hola!

This morning started off by giving a group presentation on what we feel is the appropriate response for Americans who are in Latin America. We gave our proposal and listened to the other 4 groups give their proposals. Over all, this morning was very challenging as I was faced with some difficult information. Some of the proposals included information about a bunch of different companies and their practices. This is difficult because many of the companies that I currently support by buying their products do not have ethical behaviors. When I learn about this information, I cannot continue living as I do. I know that things have to change in my life, but it is overwhelming to think about how many things are staring me in the face right now. It was a rather overwhelming morning.

After lunch, we had our other classes where I took 2 tests. I’m glad those tests are over, and I think they went alright. Honestly, the grade I get on a test down here just really doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal when I realize all these huge issues I’m learning.

So 1 presentation and 2 tests later, a few of us rewarded ourselves with the best cinnamon rolls that I have ever had in my life! There is a little bakery just down the block from where we take classes, and they are the only place that I’ve heard of in Costa Rica that has cinnamon rolls (apparently those are very American :) anyway, it was such a great treat after a long day!

Now I’m at home. As I sit here, I am starting to become aware of my emotions right now: overwhelmed and mentally exhausted. The past couple days, God has been continuing to peel back more layers of my heart to show me the brokenness that is inside. I am becoming more aware of my faults and weaknesses, weaknesses that I never even knew I had. On the one hand, I’m truly thankful that I’m becoming aware of these problem areas. I cannot change something that I do not know is broken. On the other hand, it is so overwheleming to think about all the things that need to change and be healed in my life.

I really ask for your prayers in this area. I pray that God would be patient with me during this process of peeling and healing. In addition, I continue to pray that God would guide me into truth for the 1,000s of questions I have about life right now. And finally, I sincerely pray for strength and grace in the next 5 weeks. Here’s why…

In all honesty, I’m feeling more homesick lately. I miss my family and my friends. Also, I think all of you know, but my sister is pregnant right now. She’s due in 3 weeks, and I’m just super bummed to be so far away right now. As I have mentioned before, my Tico family situation is not the most rosy. Speaking of my Tico family, they actually just left without me, and they didn’t’ bother to tell me where they were going or when they will be back. To be blunt, I do not feel very much love from them, and I’m really hungry for that. It just really makes me want to be at home where I know I’m wanted and accepted. I just want to be with people who know me and still love me anyway. I want to be in the kind of environment where I can just relax and breathe again.

But that’s not where God has me right now.

Instead I’m getting shipped off again. This Sunday I leave for my internship where I will live with a new family for 3 weeks. Not only will I have a new family and a new experience with my internship, but I will not be with any other students. It’s 3 weeks of flying solo. Basically, I’m starting all over again.

Part of me is looking forward to it: I’m looking forward to a new family and having a fresh start there. I’m also looking forward to not having any more official classes where I am bombarded by questions and difficult issues.

However, the biggest part of me is just exhausted and not sure I can handle what is about to come. My mind and heart are tired, yet I know that I’m going to need a lot of energy for this upcoming internship. I want to learn as much as possible from this experience, but that requires energy. I want to get to know my family and spend time with them, but again, that requires energy. I just really pray that God fills me with his life and spirit. If it was up to me right now, I think I would just take about 4 days to sleep :) I don’t think that’s going to fly over here though. So I just pray that God sustains me and shows me what it means to live with only him. I want to love him and know him more intimately through this experience.

I want to have time where I  can sit and think through some of these tough things that I’ve been trying to take in the last few days, but I don’t think free time is on the agenda. Although I don’t know my schedule, I’m pretty sure its like a full-time job. In addition to that full-time job, I have a lot of homework: several articles to read, a book to read, and 3 papers to write (everything is in Spanish by the way :) Not to mention I want to spend time getting to know my new family. I think these next 3 weeks could just be really full, so I really ask for your prayer support.

I want to sincerely thank everyone for your prayers and for continuing to think about me as you read my blog. Thank you also for all the encouraging emails that you send. Even though I do not have time to always respond to every single one individually, I am truly humbled as I read these sweet emails. I see God in them.

A great Tuesday

Hola!

This week has been full: classes, conversations, walking, and homework. I have not had time to update my blog as often as I would like, but that’s just how it is I guess :) You guys don’t’ need to get bored with my blabbering anyway.

But I do want to mention that yesterday was a really awesome day. In the morning, we did not have class but instead had time to work on our final group projects. For these projects, we are deciding whether or not Americans should be involved in Latin America. We also have to come up with an actual plan that we are going to carry out. This is such an awesome assignment: it is so applicable and real-life. I honestly do not feel like I have had a single “busywork” assignment. It’s been awesome!

Anyway, we worked on our projects all morning, and then I went with 3 other girls to have lunch with a speaker who had spoken to our class earlier this semester. This man’s name is John Stam, and he is originally from the United States. He and his wife live about 2 blocks from where we have class, so we walked there to just continue chatting with him and hearing more of his story.

This man is just delightful. I could talk to him for hours. Unfortunately, we were only able to spend our lunch hour with him before heading to class. He and his wife have been living in Costa Rica for 57 years. Yeah, that’s not a typo! Doing the math and making an educated guess, I would say he is about 85. I have never seen an 85 year old with so much spunk and passion for life still. He is brilliant with such a deep and analytical mind. He is an amazing man of God, and I truly was humbled and delighted to talk to him. We talked about all kinds of different things: if all people are going to heaven, what he thinks about evangelism, how he got to Costa Rica, and more. He just talks and talks, and he has an awesome sense of humor, too.

After exchanging email, we walked to class for the afternoon. When class was over, I went with my friend Rene to downtown San Jose. She had invited me to go out for coffee with her “second dad” from the United States who was here on business. So we made our way down to San Jose and met this man and his business partner. Again, this was just a wonderful conversation, and it was such a privilege to meet this man. He is also a wonderful Christian man who really seeks to live his life for God. Rene, this man, his colleague, and I had coffee at a nearby restaurant where we proceeded to talk for a couple hours about different important things in life. One of the things I loved so much about this man was that he truly was interested in our lives. He wanted to know what we were learning, what was going to be different when we went back to the United States, what we would see differently at home, and just several questions about our experiences.

He was so intuitive to what we were learning and experiencing, but we were also super interested in asking HIM questions! He is a dad of 7, a successful business man, and has several years of life experience to share. We talked about capitalism, economics, Wal-Mart, how rich people should look at poverty, and how to handle the feelings of guilt that comes when you go back to America. It was so good to hear his thoughts and opinions because he has literally traveled all over the world, and he has a lot of wisdom to share.

When it was time to leave, I felt like I could have talked to him for so much longer. I felt a sincere connection with him, and the whole conversation was incredibly comfortable. It was not like I was the outsider in a conversation between Rene and her second dad. No, they both totally embraced my presence in the conversation, and I felt completely welcomed. It was absolutely delightful, once again.

When we got up to go, it was after 7:00, which means it is dark outside. Dark and downtown San Jose = do not be alone. The 2 men graciously walked us to our bus stop (3 blocks away) and waited until we got on. I was really glad they walked with us, actually, because it is really kind of sketchy at night. We decided that there is never a feeling of being safe in San Jose, day or night. You constantly have to have your guard up and be aware of who is around you.

Overall, Tuesday was a wonderful day, and today was good too. I thank God for his faithfulness, and I thank him for blessing me with wonderful people to encourage me. Thank God for the seemingly random conversations that I have had in the last week (missionaries this weekend, John Stam, Rene’s friend). These are all people that I probably will never see again, yet I feel truly grateful for these interactions that I’ve had. I know that God’s sovereign hand was present in all these conversations. He led me to these places, and I’m so thankful for it.

Always unexpected

Hola!

Friday was a pretty normal day: classes and tough/good conversations. On Friday night I asked my family if we had any plans for the weekend, and of course, they said no. So I ended up going to downtown San Jose with 2 of my friends (Rene and Michelle). We went to the art market where artists sell their different types of work. I love going here. You see the cool jewelry, pottery, paintings, purses, scarves, and so much more…but you also see the person who made them. You can talk to the person and tell him or her that you like their work. It’s really a cool experience. After spending a couple hours in the art market, we just walked downtown and browsed in different little shops. It just amazes me that there are so many shops. I honestly have no idea how they are making a living in these shops because the competition is just incredible. In fact, we figured out why it is so easy to get turned around in San Jose: there are always repeated stores. We walked down one street for several blocks, then we turned and walked 1 block over, and the stores were the exact same stores! They were the same names and same products. Talk about confusing for a gringo who is trying to navigate around the city.

My friend Michelle comes from a Reformed background and the church that she attends at school sponsors the same missionaries that my church sponsors (Tom and Sheryl Soerens). We found this commonality several weeks ago when we were walking to class and passed a building that said “Christian Reformed Church.” We decided that it would be interesting to meet with the missionaries and just talk to them about what they are doing here in Costa Rica. Michelle’s mom actually knows the missionaries and skyped with them to figure out a time that would work for us to get together, which ended up being yesterday afternoon. When I met Rene and Michelle in the morning, Michelle told me that today was the time that worked best for them. Good thing I’m getting good at being flexible and never knowing what is coming! So yesterday afternoon, Michelle, Rene, and I met up with Tom and Sheryl in downtown San Jose and had lunch together. After lunch, they drove us to their university where Tom works as the director of online classes. He just showed us around and explained what he does more thoroughly. It was really good to make a connection with them and just get to know them a little bit.

Later in the afternoon, we went back to our homes. Almost immediately after I got home, my family took off to run a few errands. They told me they were leaving, and they all piled in the car to go (my dad, mom, sister, and 2 relatives). Right as they were about to pull out, my sister actually came back inside and asked me if I wanted to go too! Yeah! An invitation! Of course, I went along, thankful for the invitation. It was about 6:00pm when we got back home, and I found out that we were having a party at our house that night. So much for no plans for the weekend!

The party was supposed to start at 7. People did start showing up at 7, but the last people didn’t arrive until 8:30pm (very common in Tico time). This party was to celebrate my grandpa’s recovery from alcoholism. He had been a heavy alcoholic for a long time, but now he has not had a drink in 23 years. They have a party to celebrate every year, and they have a cake with candles and everything. An interesting observation: the party was to celebrate how he hasn’t drunk in so many years, but almost everyone drank alcohol at the party (except the grandpa)! It was just so ironic that they were celebrating being dry while everyone else was drinking. Of course, this party consisted of only family (friends are a rare commodity in Costa Rica). There were 20+ people in our little house, which made it quite the struggle for me to keep up in conversations!

Since there were so many people in the house, a few of the kids decided to go outside in the garage area. This is a cement slab that is enclosed by bars and is exactly the size of a car. The car was parked outside on the street, so the kids were playing in this little area with a soccer ball. As they were playing soccer, one of the kids kicked the ball, and it broke this pipe. It just so happens that this pipe is our water supply for the house. This means that we did not have any water. My dad worked on fixing it forever, and then finally it was working enough so I could go to the bathroom before sleeping. However, I woke up at 2:30, and my dad still had the lights on in the house and had not gone to bed yet. I don’t think he had it fully fixed yet when I had gone to bed.

Needless to say, it was a late night for my dad, and we did not go to church this morning (although I’m pretty sure we were not going to go anyway…but I’ll just say it was because we had a late night last night). Of course, I have no idea what will happen the rest of the day, but I guess I’ll find out!

Interesting side note: you guys had Daylight Savings Time at home last night. Costa Rica is on the same time zone, but they do not observe Daylight Savings Time. This means that now you guys are one hour ahead of me.

A few logistics: this is my last week of formal classes. This means I have a lot of homework, and it is going to be busy. This is also the last week before our internships, and I will be staying with a different family for this internship. Please pray that God allows this week to be a time of good memories with my current family. Please pray that I would be able to connect with them and appreciate them for who they are. I just pray that I end this week on a good note with them. I will be living with this same family again for 5 days at the end of the semester, so it is not completely our last time together. However, this is a significant moment, as the majority of my time living with them is definitely coming to an end. I just pray that I would be able to reflect on the experience without taking things too personally, especially since it has been tough the past couple weeks with this family.

Just a mental workout.

Hola!

Since I don’t want to write an essay, I don’t really have much to say. The thing is, a lot is going on, but it is all very conversational. I have had some just tremendously interesting and wonderful conversations in the past few days. They have been really good, but it is impossible for me to highlight what is going on in those conversations. Therefore , I don’t’ have any good stories or things to say right now. In case you are curious though, here are a few of the topics that my conversations have been about:

-          Are short term mission trips a good thing?

-          Is it okay to do long term missions in another country?

-          Do Americans have any place being in foreign countries or should we just stay in our own country?

-          How do you help people from a different culture?

-          How do you effectively put your learning into action?

Interestingly, I used to think that some of these questions had obvious answers. However, I could not have been more wrong. These questions are actually very complicated, and I have had hours of conversations about these topics. I love every minute of these conversations. It has been really good to flesh out some details and sticky situations with other people.

One thing that we have right now is a group project. In this project, our group has to come to an agreement about what we feel like the role of Americans should be in Latin America. Then we have to personally and specifically figure out an action plan, and we have to actually implement this plan. So this morning, my group got together and debated these questions for 2 hours…and we finally came to a rough agreement at the hour and 45 minute mark! We have many hours left discussing how we are going to carry out or plan, but we at least got somewhere.

So when I’m not in class or discussing these issues with other students over lunch break and walks to and from class, I have been spending my nights at home doing homework and trying to be more intentional about my personal time with God.

Last night, I had a pleasant surprise. I had been doing my devotions and just praying that God would allow me to reconnect with my Costa Rican family as I have been frustrated with thatlately. God answered my prayers quickly because right after my devotions, I had a solid hour of conversation with my Tico dad. I definitely have a different interpretation of our conversations. Honestly, I felt like my dad was more interested in “informing me” about the topic than he was in having a dialogue. I don’t think he ever asked me during that conversation what I thought (we were talking about whether Muslims and Budhists will be in heaven). He was more trying to “teach me the truth” instead of dialoguing. Nonetheless, I was very thankful for the conversation b/c it was still a point of connection with him. it was still a way to talk to him and spend time with him. Of course, when we started talking, my mom left the room (as always) and went to play a game on the computer, but oh well :)

Oh another piece of information—the new institution where we have afternoon classes is at a different location. This means that my walk home at night is only…20 minutes instead of 1 hr and 30 minutes! This makes such a difference! Today I was able to sit in the park with a friend while we did our homework.

Remember to praise God today. He is faithful and he provides. Today I personally thank God for the relationships he is giving me here and the authentic conversations. In particular, I am thankful for my dear friend Rene. She has been a blessing from God and he has really used her to support me while I’m here.

Spring Break and beyond

Hello everyone!

I am back again in San Jose, and today we started our next round of classes. Honestly, it is going to be a really busy 2 weeks, which means that this blog is going to have to be short and sweet!

I would love to tell stories about our spring break trip, but I simply don’t have time to do that right now. In short, we went to Volcan Arenal for 3 days. During this time, we saw the beautiful landscape of Costa Rica, hiked a bit, went zip-lining (amazing), and visited a hot spring. I went with 5 awesome women and was really blessed with good conversations and fun company. One thing I hated about this trip wast hat we went to a tourist town. This experience has truly wrecked my ability to ever be a tourist. I absolutely hated that feeling. If you want to know more of my thoughts on tourism, we should talk about it :) When we got back to San Jose, there were a bunch of taxi drivers who were waiting for our bus. They automatically assumed that since we were white we were ignorant tourists. It was so wonderful to feel competent: after I told the taxi driver where we lived, he tried to rip us off by telling us it would be way more expensive than it should be…it felt wonderful to say “no” to him and walk away. It felt wonderful knowing that I actually knew what I was doing and where I was going. Overall, spring break was really great, and I’m thankful that I had the chance to go.

Today we started our next round of classes. In the mornings, we are going to have classes about faith and connecting our faith with our actions. These classes sound interesting, and I’m looking forward to them. In the afternoons, half of the students are walking to another institution to have more intense spansih study. This means that every afternoon, I will have Spanish literature classes and Spanish grammar classes. I really think I am going to like this institution. They are really to the point, and I am looking forward to having a bit of a schedule again :) Seriously, it’s tough traveling so much in 2 weeks, living out of a backpack, and never knowing what the next day holds.

My physical health has been rough still, and please pray for God’s healing and guidance on that. I would love to talk more about what things are like with my relationship with God right now, but I simply don’t’ have time to do that. Right now I am thankful that God really spoke to me last night and for the wonderful conversation I could have with my friend Rene. I also am still praying that God just gives me intimacy with him, and I pray that he continues to reveal truth to me in his way and his time. I am just continuing to pray that I would know the truths that are in the Bible instead of the truths that I have just assumed were true. Here are a few questions that I’m wrestling with right now, just to give you an idea of what I’m talking about and how to pray for me:

-          What does it mean to have the Holy Spirit?

-          Does everyone have the Holy Spirit?

-          If I have the Holy spirit, why don’t I have the power like is talked about in the New Testament?

-          What does it mean to have God’s peace?

-          What do you have to do to be saved?

-          What is a Christian actually supposed to look like?

I thank you for your prayer support and for all the encouragement that I receive. Again, I thank God for you all. Now, even though I’m going to like these Spanish classes, they are going to be a lot of homework…which means that’s all I have time to write right now. I hope that everyone is doing well and really finding rest in God.

Nicaragua!

Hola everyone, 

After 12 hours of traveling yesterday, I am back at my house in San Jose, Costa Rica. I’m pretty exhausted: mentally, physically, and emotionally. I do not even know what to say about Nicaragua. I have no idea how to describe the whole experience, and I’m honestly not sure I even want to do that over a blog. Nothing I say on a blog would be able to do justice to Nicaragua and the things I experienced. Even so, I know that many of you really want to know what the trip was like. So I’m going to give a few sentences, but realize that I will only be able to scratch the surface of what it was like in Nicaragua. 

Before I say top much, let me preface this by saying that my trip to Nicaragua was amazing. It was incredible, and by far my favorite part of the semester. I am truly in love with Nicaragua, and I would go back in a heartbeat.

The first day we spent most of the day traveling to Nicaragua, and the first few days we had various speakers and small field trips. We had lectures from various people in Nicaragua, such as the right-hand man to a former President. These first 2 ½ days were really mentally exhausting. We were totally bombarded with different harsh realities about Nicaraugan politics, US involvement in Nicaragua, and various religious topics too. This was just so much to digest, and I did not come close to figuring things out. All day everyday (for 2 ½ straight days) were filled with deep discussions and hard conversations. Even during meals and bus rides the conversations continued, meaning there was very little time for personal rest. It was intense.

On the day that we were getting ready to leave for our rural communities, we heard some really difficult news. One of the students in the program had been dating her boyfriend for 3 years. He was going to school in the United States and was killed in a motorcycle accident. This was just shocking news, and really shook a lot of us up. We realized that we have no guarantee that life is going to continue on the way we think it will. Life is very fragile. Please pray for this student as we flew back to be with her family and friends right now. She is tentatively planning on coming back to finish the semester in a week. Please pray that she just is able to feel God’s presence and wisdom during this time.

The day we left for our rural communities was another full day of traveling. We got up at 2:30am to travel. Again, it was over 12 hours of traveling. Several of those travel hours were in the back of a pickup with 8 other students and all our bags. The idea of travel regulations and seatbelts isn’t a huge issue! It was actually a really fun ride as we enjoyed the sun and the awesome Central American weather.

The town I stayed in was called Chinamos. There were about 750 people in this town, and it was definitely living in poverty. This is part of the trip was by far the most meaningful, and I cannot even begin to describe this experience. I had a really wonderful family, and I definitely made unforgettable memories. Throughout the week, I milked a cow, took a shower with a spiket of water and a bucket, survived without electricity or refrigeration, drank milk straight from the cow, and played a lot of baseball, volleyball, and soccer. I met amazing people, and I fell in love with Nicaragua.

Just for a fun story: the animals are free to roam in the house, which means there are chickens all over the house. The floors are dirt, so it does not really make it dirty. For some reason, the chickens liked my bed (many other people in my family slept in hammocks). Anyway, I would always find chickens in my bed throughout the day. Keep in mind that it is very hot in Nicaragua, which means that all you have is one sheet on the bed. Therefore, the chickens were right where my head would be that night. Throughout the week, the chickens graciously gave me 3 gifts: three fresh eggs laid on my bed. At night, I could also hear the mice running around on the roof and in on walls. When I woke up in the mornings, my bed was full of dirt and caca (poop). It was neatly around my pillow and around my feet. Needless to say, my bed was not just for me.

Despite some of the less than desireable living conditions, it was totally worth it. I would do it again tomorrow if I could. In fact, I did not want to leave at all. I am not much of a crying person. I have only cried 1x since being here in Costa Rica, which is quite a stressful and challenging experience. Nonetheless, I cried like a baby on the bus as I left my community of Chinamos. I truly fell in love with this community, and I would have preferred to spend the rest of my semester in this community.

After our community stays, we spent 2 days in Grenada. This is a tourist city, and this adjustment was difficult. We go from living in poverty to living in a hotel. And now being back in Costa Rica, it is hard to know how to think about the luxuries I have here. There is still a lot on my mind, and I have a lot on my heart right now. Please pray that God will continue to be faithful to me, as he was truly being gracious to me throughout these past 10 days. Please pray that God will fill me with his peace and continue to guide me into his truth as I process what has happened lately. Please pray that I would know how to handle uncertainty and unending questions with an active contentment, a contentment that still seeks growth and change. Please pray that God would allow me to feel his presence and see his work in my life. I have clearly seen God’s hand in the past 10 days, and I am so thankful for that. Please also pray that God would grant me health and healing as I have been having some health issues, especially in the last 2 days.

Also, I want to encourage you each to take some time to praise God today…simply because he is God. Today God really spoke to me through a sermon that seemed to be ironically designed just for me. Through this sermon, God reminded me of some really important things to remember during this time of intense challenging. I do not understand his ways, but I understand that he is God. Therefore, I will praise him even when I am overwhelmed with questions. I do not know everything, but I can continually praise God for the things I do know. Right now, I know that God is great and mysterious. I know that he is unfathomable, and I will never understand him fully. This is not something that I should be frustrated about, but I should rejoice knowing that I will never fully understand God. After all, if my brain could fully understand God, he would not really be that great. He would be small and finite. But thankfully, that is not who my God is. He is faithful, even when I am faithless. He is present, even when I am distant. He is loving, even when I am heartless. He is gracious, even when I am undeserving. This is the God I am coming to know.

Today I have the day off to catch up on homework (we have to write journal entries and a paper abo Nicaragua). Tomorrow I am leaving in the morning for Spring Break Trip. I am going with 4 other girls from the program. We are not sure what we are going to be doing for sure—we just know that we have a destination. All the details are completely up in the air. We are going to Volcan Arenal which is about 4 hours away. We will be there until Monday night. Tuesday morning we start classes again.