Humility...again.

Hola!

Well, I’ll just cut right to the title: I was due for another dose of humility I guess. Monday morning I woke up, and I did feel some better. The pills that my mom had given me on Sunday did help take away some of the pain. However, the professor Laura said that she would feel better if I just went to the doctor to make sure nothing was awry. She said that she didn’t want it to end up being an infection that festers for too long. Also, we have a trip planned for the weekend and she said it would be good to get the pain under control before that.

So Monday night, my mom and sister accompanied me to the private hospital about 5 blocks from their house. This hospital was unbelievable. It was the nicest and most luxurious hospital I have ever seen. Yes, I have seen bigger hospitals, but this hospital did not feel like a hospital. It was more like a hotel. Actually, that’s because part of the hospital IS a hotel! There is a hotel connected and my mom said that a lot of people from the US come to this hospital for surgeries. They will stay in the hotel and then come to the hospital the next day for surgery. If you are hungry, there is also a fine-dining restaurant with table clothes and fancy menus attached too. There are also 2 pharmacies inside the hospital. It was something!

The process of seeing a doctor was interesting at this hospital. I was so glad my mom and sister were with me. There are times when I want to just be independent and try to do things myself, but I was totally willing to let them take the lead while we were at the hospital. The mom was just Johnny-on-the-spot with asking people for directions inside the hospital and talking to the receptionist and telling me what I needed to do. I wondered if they would come into the examining room with me, but they didn’t’ seem to wonder about it at all—they just came right in! The first question everyone asked me there was “Do you speak Spanish?” and I would always respond “A little.” The doctor said the same thing to me, and then proceeded to ask me what was going on. So I actually talked directly to the doctor and told him all that I knew. He was really nice, and I was really grateful. While he was poking my neck and shoulder, he went on to encourage me and say that I actually speak Spanish very well. That was nice of him…I needed some encouragement about that time :)

The doctor decided to do an X-ray to make sure nothing was fractured in my neck (there is one particularly sore spot), but the X-ray was normal. In the words of the doctor: “puro estres” which means, “pure stress.” Great. To be honest, part of me was hoping to get a diagnosis: an infection or a virus or something. I wanted to prove that I wasn’t making up intense pain. I wanted there to be a “real” problem. (And yes, I see the hypocrisy in my voice. I am a psych major, and I definitely have a heart from those who are overwhelmed with life and mental suffering. I totally believe their stress and sufferings are real and valid. That’s where I see the unfair expectations I have for myself.) On the other hand, it is awesome that I’m totally physically healthy. I know… this is wonderful news: I’m fine! The problem is that I still feel like a bum and a baby. What a long drawn out ordeal…just because I can’t handle my own stress. Are you catching where my humility lesson is coming into play? No matter what type of physical or mental illness I endure, I need to be reminded that my worth and value come from Christ alone. If I am looking to “prove” myself to others or myself, I am not solely thinking of my identity in Christ.

I am also realizing that my way of “coping” is not really working. My body can’t handle it. Therefore, please pray that I can ways to cope with my stress in a healthy way. Please pray that I find my satisfaction in Christ alone and trust what he is doing in my life right now. Pray that I will be open to the ways that he is changing me in this journey, even if it’s scary.

 On another note, classes have been well the past 2 days. This morning our class was on the economic system. Those of you who know me well can agree that I don’t really know squat about economics. However, I am learning that ignorance is not an excuse. In the past, I have told myself “Oh, I don’t know much about economics. That is not my passion, so I don’t need to get involved in that type of stuff.” I don’t really agree with that anymore. I am a Christian, and that means I have a duty to be a stewardly citizen and represent Christ in my life. The reality of my life is that it includes economics. Therefore, I have a duty as a Christian to be educated about what is going on economically so that I too can be responsible in this area. It does not mean I have to be passionate about it, but I do have a responsibility to be educated. Ignorance is not an excuse.

So today I learned. I embraced the economic jargon and listened to a passionate lecture from one of our professors. I feel like this really made a lot of sense, and he really did a good job of keeping everything simple. I feel like I really have a good handle on a lot of different economic things, at least in a nutshell. The next time someone asks me what socialism is, I will have an answer :)

K that’s all for now. I thank you all for your prayers and encouraging emails. I appreciate them far more than you know. Also, please pray for one of the girls in our program. Due to the overwhelming experiences that we are having right now, she decided to return home tomorrow and take classes at her home college this semester. Please pray for a smooth transition for her.